I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
