He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
