Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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