I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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