ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Even my vagina gasped.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Still dying that you shit outside
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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