wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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