Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood

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  (330): Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood http://tfl.nu/kses
  Replies (4) Good night (4052) Bad night (681)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.

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  (985): There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him. http://tfl.nu/jf24
  Replies (48) Good night (795) Bad night (3798)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.

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  (781): The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over. http://tfl.nu/6slb
  Replies (18) Good night (613) Bad night (4473)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  This house was built for laser tag.

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  (336): This house was built for laser tag. http://tfl.nu/32ag
  Replies (14) Good night (9033) Bad night (719)
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  (510): View more from California

  I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting

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  (510): I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting http://tfl.nu/unrs
  Replies (14) Good night (5731) Bad night (1341)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"

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  (480): My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap" http://tfl.nu/nk79
  Replies (6) Good night (3954) Bad night (793)
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  (+36): View more from

  until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.

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  (+36): until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober. http://tfl.nu/a4ay
  Replies (4) Good night (2245) Bad night (599)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...

  (1-320): View more from Minnesota

  It's been a bad semester.

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  (320): I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill... (1-320): It's been a bad semester. http://tfl.nu/n3pf
  Replies (9) Good night (1070) Bad night (2178)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.

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  (832): Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress. http://tfl.nu/ybr5
  Replies (6) Good night (902) Bad night (1140)
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  (661): View more from California

  he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".

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  (661): he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard". http://tfl.nu/69oo
  Replies (9) Good night (1335) Bad night (551)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day

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  (808): I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day http://tfl.nu/wum7
  Replies (9) Good night (1204) Bad night (631)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night

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  (505): She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night http://tfl.nu/ai6j
  Replies (12) Good night (546) Bad night (1010)
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  (415): View more from California

  If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league

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  (415): If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league http://tfl.nu/jv3f
  Replies (2) Good night (914) Bad night (341)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"

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  (416): I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!" http://tfl.nu/406w
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (300)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.

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  (307): I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex. http://tfl.nu/b6dd
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (290)

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