he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
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mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
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You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.