I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
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We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.