Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.