I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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