No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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