she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
