I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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