doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
