His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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