did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
