he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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