you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
