Fuck appropriateness.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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