He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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