why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
