why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
