I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize