margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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