You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize