I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
