His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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