DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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