I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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