No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
