I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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