i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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