I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just want to make out with him forever
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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