Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
