Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
