id be glad to
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
