the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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