Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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