No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
