those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize