Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
