It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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