butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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