it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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