Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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