I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
