Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ya dads aren't the best wingmen

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  (248): ya dads aren't the best wingmen http://tfl.nu/uy2v
  Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (1617)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.

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  (978): I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it. http://tfl.nu/p2ch
  Replies (4) Good night (2870) Bad night (690)
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  (323): View more from California

  this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude

  (765): View more from Indiana

  call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing

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  (323): this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude (765): call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing http://tfl.nu/wjo2
  Replies (41) Good night (1850) Bad night (3385)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Did we have sex?

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left

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  (706): Did we have sex? (1-706): No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left http://tfl.nu/lup5
  Replies (24) Good night (792) Bad night (5302)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  i'd get off the bar first.

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  (216): my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing? (1-216): i'd get off the bar first. http://tfl.nu/xsi2
  Replies (18) Good night (830) Bad night (2971)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb

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  (856): you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb http://tfl.nu/benk
  Replies (34) Good night (4360) Bad night (1236)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook

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  (508): i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook http://tfl.nu/ft2u
  Replies (36) Good night (10451) Bad night (1019)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.

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  (501): Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check. http://tfl.nu/gtpb
  Replies (12) Good night (1063) Bad night (5373)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.

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  (970): I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat. http://tfl.nu/yfuv
  Replies (13) Good night (2331) Bad night (1327)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm off the liquor

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick

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  (403): I'm off the liquor (1-403): You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick http://tfl.nu/sglp
  Replies (7) Good night (2123) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Way to promote small business.

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  (314): Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business (314): Way to promote small business. http://tfl.nu/n30m
  Replies (3) Good night (1555) Bad night (459)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?

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  (616): my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun? http://tfl.nu/vevn
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (749)
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  (310): View more from California

  Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?

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  (310): Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH? http://tfl.nu/yzjc
  Replies (4) Good night (675) Bad night (372)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?

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  (304): Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis? http://tfl.nu/2x4t
  Replies (6) Good night (936) Bad night (312)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon

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  (919): It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon http://tfl.nu/hhjh
  Replies (0) Good night (351) Bad night (673)

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