hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday