Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards

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  (626): I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards http://tfl.nu/kggv
  Replies (7) Good night (2933) Bad night (918)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I guess God knew he was going to be bald...

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  (281): What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh? (832): I guess God knew he was going to be bald... http://tfl.nu/ipcy
  Replies (35) Good night (3270) Bad night (550)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"

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  (425): he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!" http://tfl.nu/83kf
  Replies (22) Good night (1414) Bad night (11593)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it

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  (703): grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it http://tfl.nu/pj49
  Replies (28) Good night (699) Bad night (3853)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing

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  (917): Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing http://tfl.nu/ny0i
  Replies (8) Good night (878) Bad night (4229)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand

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  (816): I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand http://tfl.nu/mvpq
  Replies (10) Good night (2152) Bad night (1006)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.

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  (215): Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options. http://tfl.nu/xie6
  Replies (4) Good night (2332) Bad night (738)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.

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  (217): Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with. http://tfl.nu/6u23
  Replies (6) Good night (2746) Bad night (806)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too

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  (407): I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too http://tfl.nu/awue
  Replies (0) Good night (914) Bad night (456)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.

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  (785): And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week. http://tfl.nu/s5eh
  Replies (10) Good night (676) Bad night (1897)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...

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  (702): It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall... http://tfl.nu/3zyu
  Replies (6) Good night (456) Bad night (623)
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  (650): View more from California

  Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge

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  (650): Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge http://tfl.nu/undc
  Replies (7) Good night (1141) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.

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  (805): That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture. http://tfl.nu/lxlo
  Replies (4) Good night (596) Bad night (274)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk

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  (248): His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk http://tfl.nu/d0l5
  Replies (0) Good night (520) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.

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  (720): Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms. http://tfl.nu/n4o1
  Replies (0) Good night (867) Bad night (203)

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