Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!

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  (248): Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks! http://tfl.nu/xdy8
  Replies (7) Good night (1387) Bad night (754)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle

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  (248): i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle http://tfl.nu/q09n
  Replies (3) Good night (855) Bad night (1114)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?

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  (207): I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway? http://tfl.nu/bdir
  Replies (13) Good night (2487) Bad night (904)
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  (212): View more from New York

  btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up

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  (212): btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up http://tfl.nu/jzw8
  Replies (30) Good night (1186) Bad night (4918)
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  (631): View more from New York

  there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby

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  (631): there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby http://tfl.nu/vnsn
  Replies (13) Good night (867) Bad night (2246)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out

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  (412): I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out http://tfl.nu/59g7
  Replies (12) Good night (4916) Bad night (666)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

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  (612): You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast. http://tfl.nu/3zo3
  Replies (47) Good night (29318) Bad night (1380)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face

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  (615): If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face http://tfl.nu/2kqd
  Replies (9) Good night (4196) Bad night (918)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  My vagina agrees.

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  (330): i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again. (614): My vagina agrees. http://tfl.nu/ii41
  Replies (20) Good night (6302) Bad night (913)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.

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  (609): We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar. http://tfl.nu/d2sa
  Replies (5) Good night (3107) Bad night (797)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?

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  (210): Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting? http://tfl.nu/he3z
  Replies (6) Good night (1185) Bad night (913)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us

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  (303): we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us http://tfl.nu/pmf4
  Replies (8) Good night (3845) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.

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  (443): There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity. http://tfl.nu/z2pz
  Replies (12) Good night (399) Bad night (1644)
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  (310): View more from California

  Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote

  (310): View more from California

  What should I do?

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  (310): Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote (310): What should I do? http://tfl.nu/vq8o
  Replies (3) Good night (430) Bad night (324)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.

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  (708): Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important. http://tfl.nu/v8rd
  Replies (8) Good night (746) Bad night (360)

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