Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence