some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.