we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
