Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
