If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
