We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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