are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
