You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The uberlube is also flammable
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
