I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
