I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
