The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
