I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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