I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
