He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We just shotgunned beers for America
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
