We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
time to smoke my breakfast
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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