i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
